420::012 Praetorian Guard - CaptainCannabis.com
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420::012 Praetorian Guard

            EXT. MOUNTAIN BUSHES/CONTINUOUS TIME

            The rain beats down hard. oKee slumps in desperation when he
            sees Hal dragged before a marine sitting at a desk under the
            tarps.

                                OKEE
                      Ooh, heart hurt. To do what? Must find
                      something. Love, yes, love. But my thinks
                      hurt. Love hurt.

            As he rubs his head, a long, low growl comes from his tummy.

                                OKEE (CONT'D)
                      And long time since herb our fill of.

            He looks at the surrounding cedar and pine trees, picking a
            few leaves from the ground.

                                OKEE (CONT'D)
                      But not grow. Just this...

            He takes a bite, promptly spitting it out.

                                OKEE (CONT'D)
                      YUCKK! Yuck, yuck, yuck! Oh, for sweat
                      herb.

            He sees the astral glow from his ship in the bushes.

                                OKEE (CONT'D)
                      There is herb there, I think.

            Then back to Hal being questioned by Troy.

                                OKEE (CONT'D)
                      He not help. Myself I must.

            He's about to leave when the sounds of Hal beaten by the
            grunts draws his attention.

                                OKEE (CONT'D)
                      He hurt.

            He cringes, holding his stomach as Hal is hit again.

                                OKEE (CONT'D)
                      I hurt. Herb always make me good feel.
                      Get herb. That I want.

            He moves to leave, but is stopped by the sound of:

                                COSMIC COUNCIL - V.O.
                          (reverb)
                      Wanting is desire. Love must be
                      unselfish.

            ON OKEE

            struggling as an OHMMM-like chanting swells up.

                                COSMIC COUNCIL - V.O.
                      Remember to think unselfish thoughts.
                      Intuition is your guide. It remains
                      strong over time, growing clearer until
                      harmony is reached. Your minds must be in
                      harmony to join with the diamond heart.

            INTERCUT WITH QUICKENING COSMIC PULSE FROM THE SUN

            as its BEAT grows stronger along with the drone of the
            OHMMMM, together reverberating to the depth of his soul. WIPE
            SCENE with brilliant glow of the sun.

                                                          FADE TO WHITE:

            EXT. MOUNTAIN CLEARING/CONTINUOUS TIME

            Hal is bleeding, in great pain and in the rain. Troy sits
            comfortably at his desk underneath the tarp writing.

                                SERGEANT TROY
                      I'm only going to ask once more.

            He stares straight at Hal.

                                SERGEANT TROY (CONT'D)
                      How do we get in?

                                HAL
                      I told you I don't know what you're
                      talking about.

            Troy slams his fist down on the desk.

                                SERGEANT TROY
                      We got ways to make Abu Ghraib look like
                      summer camp. Cooperate, and we can make
                      it worth your while.

                                HAL
                      Duh, like how?

                                SERGEANT TROY
                      Always got a place for a team player who
                      knows his way around electronics. The
                      choice is simple. Them or you.

            Hal thinks long and hard.

                                HAL
                      Then I guess it's gonna haveta be me.

            Before Troy busts a seam, Marine Williams runs up.

                                WILLIAMS
                      Troy? Sergeant, sir? PIO just in. We're
                      Delta. With extreme prejudice!

                                SERGEANT TROY
                      About fuckin time. Gloves off boys.

            The marines let up a collective whoop, ripping off their
            berets and putting on Delta Caps.

                                SERGEANT TROY (CONT'D)
                      Get this asshole out of my sight.

                                BUTTS
                      Can I have him now serge?

                                SERGEANT TROY
                      With pleasure.

            Butts relishes kicking and dragging Hal through the mud.

            ON OKEE

            The sound of the Cosmic Council continues ringing as his eyes
            pop open to see the grunts beating on Hal.

                                OKEE
                      What to do am I?

                                COSMIC COUNCIL - V.O.
                      You must wait.

            ON HAL

            tossed into the compound, battered and bruised, just barely
            conscious. Marion rushes to his aid.

                                BUTTS
                      Don't get too comfy. I'll be back.

                                MARION
                      Bastard! Oh-my-god, you okay?

            Marion digs through her purse, absentmindedly tossing the bag
            of Cosmic Pot on the ground with other stuff. 

                                HAL
                      How's my rescue going so far?

                                MARION
                      Funny guy. We're gonna need one of your
                      superheroes to get out of this one.

                                HAL
                      I'll think on it.

            She finds her hanky and dabs Hal's facial wounds. He catches
            sight of the bag of pot out of a partially opened eye.

                                HAL (CONT'D)
                      Is that what I think it is? Sure could
                      use some about now. Medicinal of course.

                                MARION
                          (chastising)
                      In the middle of a crisis and all you can
                      think about smoking pot.

                                HAL
                      Think of a better time? Oomph!

            He doubles-up in pain as explosions start in the distance. 

                                MARION
                      Okay, but make it quick.

            Hal's shaky hand pulls his Zippo and a pipe from his breast
            pocket. She fills the bowel, puts the pipe to his mouth and
            cracks the Zippo. One toke and Hal's out.

                                MARION (CONT'D)
                      Shit. Happens every time.

            ANGLE ON HAL'S ASTRAL BODY

            To the sound of TEARING VELCRO, Hal floats in a sea of BLACK.
            Spots of sparkling light appear, swirling to the point of
            vertigo. Figures, scenes and images morph in and out of view
            in a surreal spectacle of sights and sounds.

                                MARION
                      ...need one of your superheroes...

                                HAL
                      ...I'm important enough to call The
                      Captain.

                                OKEE
                      Help you must.

            The glow around Hal's heart area grows...

                                HAL
                      I can't even help myself.

                                MARION
                      Captain what? Cannabis?

                                ASTRAL NUKE
                      Deep inside yourself Halburt Lighter.
                      There you will find the only truth.

                                HAL
                      What truth?

                                ASTRAL NUKE
                      There is only one. Help others to help
                      yourself. This is the key to your higher
                      self.

            ...until it consumes the scene.

                                                          FADE TO WHITE:

            EXT. LOW EARTH ORBIT/CONTINUOUS TIME

            As miscellaneous HAARP satellites move into position a voice
            comes over the intercom.

                                OPERATOR - V.O.
                      DELTA-COMMAND to Fox Leader.

            FAVOURING

                                SERGEANT TROY
                      Fox leader?

                                OPERATOR - V.O.
                      HAARP online sir.

                                SERGEANT TROY
                      Excellent. Fire when ready!

            ON OPERATOR

            inside Chinook, pushes 'engage' button. The HAARP clock
            counts down on his monitor.

                                OPERATOR
                      Affirmative. We're a go in 10, 9, 8...

            EXT. LOW EARTH ORBIT/CONTINUOUS TIME

            The satellites lock into position.

                                OPERATOR - V.O.
                      ...7, 6, 5,...

            EXT. HAARP ARRAY - ALASKA/CONTINUOUS TIME

            HAARP array glows and hums ominously.

                                OPERATOR - V.O.
                      ...4, 3, 2,...

            EXT. LOW EARTH ORBIT/CONTINUOUS TIME

            Satellites glow and blink wildly.

                                OPERATOR - V.O.
                       ...1, ENGAGED!

            EXT. HAARP ARRAY - ALASKA/CONTINUOUS TIME

            As the HUM reaches a climax, the HAARP array emits a NEON
            GLOW of the energy towards the 

            LOW EARTH ORBIT SATELLITES

            which, in turn, bounce the beam toward the waiting satellite
            dish. The dish glows as the beam hits, causing a low,
            deadening drone to swell from the sound system.

            WIDER

            the beam bounces off the satellites.

            INT. CHINOOK

            Troy and Baldwin enter.

                                OPERATOR
                      Underground pictures relayed now sir.

                                LIEUTENANT BALDWIN
                      Good god, look at size of that complex.
                      Any life signs?

            ANGLE ON VIDEO MONITOR

            Underground satellite imagery of Mikey's cavern moves on the
            screen until an outline of Mikey comes into view.

                                SERGEANT TROY - V.O.
                      There! That's our guy.

                                OPERATOR - V.O.
                      We can lock on him like this. Increase
                      the frequency like this. It's like a
                      microwave; it'll cook whatever's there.

            Hands turn dials and knobs to their maximums.

            ANGLE ON MIKEY

            Sitting in the control chair watching a holographic image of
            the marines outside.

                                MIKEY
                      Now what the hell are they doing?

            The cavern shakes violently around him.

                                MIKEY (CONT'D)
                      I don't like this...argh!

            Grabbing his temples in excruciating pain, he falls to the
            floor as the cavern crumbles.


            INTERCUT MIKEY WITH MARINES

            Outside the ground shakes as if a major earthquake was
            underway. Everyone scurries for anything to hold on to.
            Marion puts herself over Hal's unconscious body.

            Troy pulls out a hip flask as he and Baldwin come outside.
            Taking a drink, he sees a glow from a nearby hill.

                                SERGEANT TROY
                      What's that?

            Baldwin produces field glasses.

            THROUGH BINOCULARS

            oKee glows brightly as he struggles to the top of the hill.
            As he rises, the HAARP beam is drawn to him. Troy is passed
            the glasses.

                                LIEUTENANT BALDWIN
                      Isn't that what we're looking for?

                                SERGEANT TROY
                      Damn, this is our lucky day.

            CLOSE ON OKEE

            In a moment that seems eternal, the HAARP beam inches closer
            as he struggles to stand tall on shaky legs. The quickening
            pulse and droning OHHHMMM build in intensity.

            The beam strikes, lighting him up like a Roman Candle. The
            fireworks continue for a BEAT until the HAARP beam starts
            moving back toward space as if being pushed.

                                LIEUTENANT BALDWIN
                      He can't do that! That's not fair.

            Troy barks out orders

                                SERGEANT TROY
                      You, open fire. You two with me.

            A couple marines follow Troy as the rest scramble for
            whatever weapon they can and begin unloading in oKee's
            direction. Rocks fly under a relentless bombardment from
            machine guns, RPG's and sundry other explosive devices.

            EXT. CAVE ENTRANCE/CONTINUOUS TIME

            Explosions rock the ground as the marines hammer away. After
            a few BEATS they stop to assess the damage.

                                MARINE 1
                      Geez, not even make a dent.

                                SERGEANT TROY
                      What the hell is it made of?

            ANGLE ON OKEE

            The marines barrage of bullets and grenades bounce off a
            glowing ball of energy now surrounding oKee, but they're
            taking their toll. The HAARP beam slowly starts moving back
            toward earth as oKee loses ground.

            ANGLE ON

                                SERGEANT TROY
                      Is there anything we haven't thrown at it
                      yet?

            The APACHE HELICOPTER swoops overhead, armed with 2 sinister
            rockets.

                                LIEUTENANT BALDWIN
                      Bunker busters, perhaps?

                                SERGEANT TROY
                      Mini-nukes? Didn't Congress cut funds for
                      that?

                                LIEUTENANT BALDWIN
                      Bleeding heart liberals. Get with it man,
                      we're the Praetorian Guard. Civvies just
                      fuck things up. Cut our funding if they
                      had their way. We just keep them scared
                      to death and they give us anything we
                      want. Including these. Now suit up and
                      lets see some fireworks I say!
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