EXT. WHITE HOUSE - ESTABLISHING - NIGHT
VICE PRESIDENT - O.S.
Ahhhhhhhh!
INT. WHITE HOUSE HALLWAY/CONTINUOUS TIME
The screams from within the Vice Presidents chambers
interrupt two MIB types standing guard in the hall. They rush
to find the Vice President on the floor seized by convulsions
and whimpering piteously.
VICE PRESIDENT
He's here.
MIB 1
Who sir? Nobody came in or out.
VICE PRESIDENT
Him...God. He stood there, right over
there. He came from his underworld
dominion. Said an enemy's here. We have
to destroy it or he'll be back for me!
MIB 1
How?
Medics rush in and administer a tranquilizer.
VICE PRESIDENT
War. Death. Hate, yes more hate. And
suffering. Lots of suffering, and...
DOCTOR
Calm down sir. Just another bad dream.
INT. HUGE VAULTED CAVERN
Smoke rises from the barrel of Mikey's now empty gun.
MIKEY
Did I get it?
MARION
I, can't look.
He puts the gun down and kneels beside her. She opens one eye
to take a tentative look around.
MIKEY
What was it?
MARION
It's gone now.
A SIREN BLARES.
MIKEY
Shit. Perimeter alarm.
Mikey rushes to the CENTRAL CONTROL AREA, scooping the little
green creature up and passing it to a reluctant Marion.
Jumping in the huge chair, he places his hands in depressions
like those on the ship outside. He closes his eyes and
concentrates. After a beat a holographic image appears in the
center of the Control Area showing two RCMP officer's picking
their way through the trail.
MARION
Wow...
MIKEY
Hmmm, Stew Pidd again.
MARION
Stupid?
MIKEY
Constable Stewart J. Pidd. Royal Canadian
Mounted Police. Stew Pidd for short. You
guys better get out of here.
MARION
You mean this is it? Just like that?
MIKEY
Just like that. Get Hal.
Pissed off, she gives Hal a nasty kick.
MARION
Yeah, guess you're right. Knew it was too
good to last. Come on Hal, party's over.
HAL
Ow! Duhh dude, I just, like had the
trippiest dream. Some weird ghost thing,
and like Marion was screaming...
MARION
No dream. Let's rock.
HAL
...and roll and Mikey was shooting and...
He sees the still smoking gun.
HAL (CONT'D)
...she's shittin me right?
MIKEY
Take it with you.
HAL
Duh, no way. It's not like it's my
responsibility or nothin.
Mikey points to the pile of glowing hemp.
MIKEY
Do it! NOW! And take some of that. I
think its food.
Marion gives the creature to Hal and moves to the hemp. Hal,
still in a fog, spots a military duffle. She returns as he
slings it over his shoulder. She sees the creature stuffed
inside when she opens the pack to deposit the hemp.
MARION
Where's the...? Hey? That's not right.
MIKEY
There's a back way out, but it's tricky.
Watch for riddles. They tell you how to
get past the traps.
HAL
Duh, traps? Riddles?
The alarm blares again.
MIKEY
Shit. Just use your common sense.
HAL
Duh...
MARION
We're in serious shit.
INT. MINE SHAFT
Hal is the first into the mine. Mikey stops Marion.
MIKEY
I just want you to know that...well...if
things were different...
MARION
Don't hurt yourself big guy...
She puts her hand tenderly on his cheek...
MARION (CONT'D)
...we'll meet again. Bet on it!
...and she's off into the bowels of the Earth.
INT. MINE WIND TUNNEL
Hal and Marion struggle in the loose rocks as they pass
SKELETAL REMAINS of a couple of ancient miners. But these
were no ordinary miners. At least twice the size of a normal
human, their skulls are oddly shaped extending toward the
back at least another head in size.
HAL
What was that all about?
MARION
Just saying goodbye.
HAL
Could have fooled me.
MARION
What's with you?
HAL
Nothin...'cept I risk my ass bringing you
all the way up here just to see you throw
yourself all over my cousin.
SOUNDS of loose gravel echoes some distance behind.
MARION
Wha was that?
HAL
Don't change the subject.
MARION
You're an asshole you know that? If you
hadn't kidnapped me in the first place...
A sudden RUSHING interrupts.
HAL
What's that?
MARION
Now don't you change the subject.
A blustery wind picks up, making it difficult to walk. The
further they advance, the windier it becomes until they're
struggling to keep from being blown over. Hal holds his hand
out to help Marion, but she refuses. They come to a point
where it's impossible to go any further - the wind is just
too strong. It blows from right to left into a dark chasm and
certain doom. Marion points to a sign reading:
"WHAT DO YOU BREAK BY SAYING JUST ONE WORD?"
MARION (CONT'D)
(screaming)
What's it mean?
HAL
How should I know? Think. What do you
break by saying one word?
MARION
I'm the blonde remember?
HAL
How do I know it's not from a bottle?
MARION
Oh, shut up!
HAL
That's it! You break silence when you say
somethin. Look for some silence.
Marion's confused but frantically searches without another
word. After a few BEATS, the wind stops.
MARION
How'd that ha...?
Before she finishes, the wind starts with renewed furry. Hal
holds his finger up to his mouth in a SHHH sign. Standing
perfectly still, the wind stops again. Hal motions to
advance, and they silently tiptoe across.
INT. VICE-PRESIDENTS OFFICE
A nervous AIDE winces when the very stressed VICE-PRESIDENT
slams down the phone.
VICE PRESIDENT
Damn Canadians. Why didn't we invade
them?
AIDE
DIA sir?
VP's shaky hand pours a handful of pills that are quickly
washed down with a glass of water.
VICE PRESIDENT
Well? Send them in.
Three plain-clothed DIA agents enter. One pulls some papers
from a brown manila folder, handing them to the VP.
ANGLE ON LINE DRAWINGS
of Marion, Mikey, the creature, the cave, the crashed UFO and
Astral Hal.
DIA 1
Thought you'd want to see these A-SAP.
The Vice President looks, turns them around and looks again.
VICE PRESIDENT
Joke, right?
DIA 2
Recon sketches from a Remote Viewing
session sir.
VICE PRESIDENT
I get these, it looks like those little
gray bastards again, but what's this?
Vice President slaps down a drawing of Astral Hal.
DIA 3
We're not sure. The viewer reported this
'person' could not only see him, but was
able to attack.
All three agents nod in the affirmative.
VICE PRESIDENT
You said these viewers can't be seen.
They're like ghosts. That's the whole
point of the program.
DIA 1
It's obvious the Grays have given
advanced technology to terrorists.
DIA 3
They're using it to attack our Psychic
Warfare Department.
DIA 2
This is a national security priority sir.
The nation must go on Alert RED.
VICE PRESIDENT
And exactly what do we say, hmmm? Shall I
have the President go on television and
admit we've been lying for the past 60
years? How about, there's this race of
gray aliens that just wiped out our multi
billion dollar missile defense system? Or
maybe aliens are working with terrorists
who run around attacking remote viewers
from a Psychic Warfare Department that
doesn't officially exist?
He pounds his desk.
VICE PRESIDENT (CONT'D)
There's no way this gets out on my watch.
Or ever. Officially Grays don't exist and
that's the way it stays. Any other ideas?
INT. MINE POND
Hal and Marion frantically pick their way through the
decomposing mine shaft. Hal struggles under the growing
weight of the backpack, periodically looking over his
shoulder.
HAL
I think we lost it.
MARION
Good. Here's another pond. I need a rest.
HAL
It's the same.
MARION
As what?
He points to a mark on the wall.
HAL
As the last one and the one before. I did
this last time. We're going in circles.
They freeze as SNARLING echoes from the path behind.
HAL (CONT'D)
Shit. We gotta keep moving.
As they go to leave, noises ahead stop them dead.
MARION
We're, like, surrounded. What are you
gonna do?
HAL
Only one thing to do.
He sits down and proceeds to roll a joint.
MARION
Like, what do you think you're doing?
HAL
Dude, if I'm checking out I'm at least
doin it with a smile on my face.
MARION
I can't believe you.
Hal offers the finished joint to Marion...
HAL
Last chance?
...who declines. He pulls out his Zippo.
HAL (CONT'D)
Duh, I don't get it. You don't puff yet
you go to all this trouble for a pound.
Resigning herself, she sits by the pond.
MARION
It, its mom.
HAL
Okay, your mom's a toker. Big deal.
MARION
It's not for her. She was drunk, as
usual. They say she killed a kid with her
car. Calling it murder. She doesn't
remember a thing. I don't believe em, but
I just can't keep up with the legal bills
anymore. The lawyer says...sigh, it's for
him and the judge.
HAL
Duh, like they say, we got the best legal
system you can buy.
Rocks crash and snarling continues from the darkness.
MARION
You know, even though you're a super
asshole, it's sweet of you to try and
help me out.
She leans forward and plants the most passionate of kisses on
Hal's very startled lips.
MARION (CONT'D)
Most guys would've tried getting in my
pants, especially when I was passed out.
But not Hal. Thanks.
Hal is visibly flustered. He lights the joint with trembling
hands. Marion SHRIEKS as his Zippo illuminates the immediate
area. Advancing from twenty feet away is a 12-foot creature
with a head misshapen in the same way as dead miners and
dressed in scruffy rags. It carries a long staff like a
weapon. In the other direction is another of the same.
MARION (CONT'D)
Do something...
HAL - O.S.
Duh, what can you hold without ever
touching?
MARION
What?
The light from Hal's lighter illuminates a riddle scrawled on
the rock wall.
HAL
The next riddle, see?
MARION
Wha? I dunno. Your breath?
Hal looks at the water, at Marion, then back to the water.
MARION (CONT'D)
I can't swim remember?
There's a flash of light as a LASER-LIKE BEAM impacts on the
rocks above their heads.
MARION (CONT'D)
Now's a great time to start.
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